Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
