The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
