dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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