That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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