Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
