just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Someone signed my nipple.
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