ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
