Sry I called you an 8
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
