Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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