If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
