Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
