Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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