So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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