The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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