If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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