listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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