I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize