Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She said her name was "party"
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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