do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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