READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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