The maid of honor just puked.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize