4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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