That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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