Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
