I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
