I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
