I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
