I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
