Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Someone came in the potted fern
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
