hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
