he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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