we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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