So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
