Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
