When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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