i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize