You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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