You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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