what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Randomize
