I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Drake has all the answers
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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