His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
