I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize