There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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