He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
