Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
are you so shy because you have an std?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
