guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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