dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
