So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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