You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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