So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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