i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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