Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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