hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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