so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
