Screwed.edu
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
