one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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