You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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