maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
