Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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