Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
