Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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