porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Quick, to the slutcave!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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