so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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