I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
