Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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